5 Signs You’re a Spiritual Warfare Baddie (And Don’t Even Know It)

Listen babe… not all witches wear pointy hats. Some of us wear hoop earrings, have court case candles in our Amazon cart, and call on La Muerte between Zoom meetings. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re just a little more magical than the average mortal, let me lovingly confirm:
You’re a spiritual warfare baddie.
And here’s the proof.

1. You Cleanse Your House More Than You Vacuum

If you’ve ever looked at your floor and said “I’ll mop later, but this energy gotta go now,” you already know the vibes.
Smoke clears before the Swiffer does.
You’ve got more incense than surface spray.
And baby—ain’t no dust bunny more dangerous than leftover beef from three weeks ago that’s still stuck in the corner. ✨

2. You Keep Florida Water in Your Purse Next to Your Lip Gloss

Emergency spiritual hydration.
You never know when a hater, a hex, or your momma’s mood is gonna hit sideways.
Lip gloss for the look.
Florida Water for the force field.
Catch you pulling it out like holy perfume in the middle of the grocery store.

3. You’ve Hexed a Tech Bro for Fun (and Justice)

He messed with your money, your girl, or your bandwidth?
He earned that sour jar and digital domination spell.
You whispered “May your algorithms collapse” and went to sleep like a baby.
Revenge isn’t the goal, protection is—but sometimes Spirit lets you spice it up.

4. You Talk to Your Ancestors Out Loud and Mean It

You don’t “believe” in spirit like it’s a theory—you know them.
You feel them.
You roll your eyes and go, “Okay, Abuela, I heard you” while folding laundry.
Sometimes you cry. Sometimes you laugh. But always, you listen.
Because you’re not alone—and never have been.

5. You Light a Black Candle and Your Enemies Stop Texting

You don’t block people, you bind them.
You don’t argue online, you drop petitions in flame.
You know how to move in silence—but your candles scream in spirit.
They feel it before you say it.
And baby, when you light that black candle?
The energy checks itself.

🖤 Bonus Sign:

You’ve read this whole thing nodding like “Damn… it me.”
Congratulations, babe.
You’re not just a witch.
You’re a spiritual warfare baddie—and whether you just started or been at it for lifetimes, you're walking with protection, purpose, and pure 🔥.